April 2011
1 post
If you have a cat you automatically have new lows
I have more conversations with my feline companion than I do with people.
September 2010
1 post
Back to school low
I ran into a tree today. A large tree. In an open field. Pine needles got in my eyes.
August 2010
1 post
A low in four parts
1. I went to see Piranha 3-D
2. My dad was surprised I was not going alone.
3. I actually enjoyed it.
4. They are already making a sequel.
June 2010
3 posts
New TV low. That I must see. →
May 2010
18 posts
TFLN: New Lows Addition
Chunt/Double K: Where the fy k late you?
Camcam: On blankets where the crowd ends and blankets begin, north side
Chunt/Double K: Drnkkkk
Camcam: Can’t stop laughing. Make good choices.
Chunt/Double K: Cnaille!!! Jelly says hi.
Chunt/Double K: Where ate toy? Cone find nuw???
Chunt/Double K: Camille means to say here are you come find is
Chunt/Double K: Clare*
Camcam: Babygirrrrrl...
New Low Confession
Today I realized that the thing I like best about having my roommate spend every night at her boyfriend’s apartment is that I can openly fart and not be judged.
1 tag
New lows, new ways to procrastinate
1. Write erotic Civil War fan fiction
2. Watch videos of people blending things on YouTube
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Victorian Britain Low
Among the upper class in 19th century Victorian Britain, pubic hair from one’s lover was frequently collected as a souvenir. The curls were, for instance, worn like cockades in men’s hats as potency talismans, or exchanged among lovers as tokens of affection.[17] The museum of St. Andrews University in Scotland has in its collection a snuff box full of pubic hair of one of King...
2 tags
Calling the cops on your mom for not liking your... →
Public transportation low
I saw fellatio performed on the Metra yesterday. Life is only uphill from this point.
1 tag
Electrical fire low
It’s been so long since someone has hugged me that or I have received physical contact that I have enjoyed that when my friend poked me the other day I jumped, screamed, and started an electrical fire and nearly lead to carbon monoxide poisoning. Success.
1 tag
Cat lady low
Today in class we watched a documentary about adoption and everyone oohed and aahed at the oodles of babies. I did not join them until a cat appeared on screen. I immediately shrieked with delight. Even my emotional instincts know that my future cats will be my children.
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Justin Bieber new low →
Sasha Fierce
Whenever I need motivation I just listen to Destiny Child’s “Survivor”. It is literally the only thing that I fully trust in life.
April 2010
5 posts
1 tag
New haircut, new low
“I’m glad your hair is wavy, it’s more forgiving to a bad cut.” - Reassuring words from my extremely experienced hairdresser.
March 2010
17 posts
New snack. New low.
Dip knife in peanut butter.
Drizzle honey on knife.
Lick clean.
I enjoy the mental stimulation of cleaning the knife. And the peanut butter is organic.
Despite the penises...
…I actually enjoy Chat Roulette.
Last Day of Reading Week →
In spite of having an insurmountable pile of work to do before wednesday morning, I managed to waste 20 minutes of my time researching the Nestle Corporations business insights for the year and a new Jenny Craig partner program debuting in France.
This one was tough to admit.
http://www.wegetitsuri.com/
Looked through every picture on this website. I now think Suri is cute.
Reading Week 3-4
DAY 3 TOO BUSY TO POST
DAY 4: Yogurt. No spoon. Why do I keep forgetting utensils?
THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER →
Reading Week - Day 2
1. I ran into my bed. My head bled profusely. I had to put an awkward band-aid on it. The only person who asked me what happened to my head was the salad man in the cafeteria.
2. Speaking of that salad, I forgot to grab a fork to eat it with. I used my fingers instead.
3. Reading Week Work progress:
15 page paper - Haven’t started
10 page paper - Haven’t started
Final presentation...
Lunch Malfunction
Today I searched for an open tech couch for 30 minutes before some lazy bum finally got up. I assumed my comatose position and proceeded to eat my cup of pineapple and other assorted fruits while lying on my back. Before I knew it, my face was covered in moist fruit pieces and my hair was thoroughly wet with pineapple juice.
I continued to lie there for 20 minutes to let it dry so I...
Reading Week: A Shit Show of Lows.
Day 1:
1. Mentally snapped and went to see The Crazies alone at noon.
2. Haven’t had time to eat.
3. Had to have a 3 hour meeting stopped because my group agreed that I looked like I had just witnessed my father hitting my mother at the dinning table. Much back-patting and concerned glances ensued.
4. Photo of me looking like dead Frodo was published in the school newspaper.
5....
February 2010
7 posts
Food consumed this weekend
1. Bacon Omelette
2. Buttery Toast
3. Cheesy Grits
4. Potatoes
5. Strawberry Waffle with whipped cream
6. Sundae with (slightly stale) Brownie
7. Milkshake
8. Ramen
9. Asiago Cheese Bagel (w/ REDUCED FAT cream cheese…bitches)
10. Cream of Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (Panera yo)
11. Sun Chips
12. Pizza
13. Mac and Cheese
14. Chicken Wontons
15. Salad/Carrot Sticks
All of that...
Birthday Wishlist - The Twinkies Cookbook →